When was the last time you asked your yoni out for a cup of coffee and a chat?  Or just a little one on one time without having a sexual experience?

Your yoni, pussy, vajayjay or whatever you like to call her, is your powerhouse, yet can you remember the last time you were encouraged to develop a relationship with that power?

Not many women are taught how to develop a relationship with her yoni.  In fact, most women have been discouraged from developing a relationship with her. Think of the way we speak about her, names like private parts, down there, naughty place, all keeping your yoni off limits and a body part that is not supposed to be seen even by your own two eyes.  Then we hit puberty, start bleeding and told to stick cotton up there and go on about our business not letting this inconvenience slow us down.  Usually the yoni is considered a place of irritation unless we are having sex which hopefully brings pleasure.

It makes me wonder…how does this make a yoni feel?

For years I was disconnected from my yoni. When I started having sex, I would use her then ignored her completely. 

Basically we were in an emotionally and energetic abusive relationship. 

It wasn’t until I started studying Tantra that I was able to connect with her.  I finally saw her as a sacred aspect of my whole being. 

I realized I didn’t know anything about her and craved a satisfying relationship with her.

A fundamental key to any relationship is communication. One way I got to know my most intimate space was talking to her. 

Yes that’s right. I had full on conversations with her and I highly encourage you to start chatting with yours! 

You might be thinking, WTF? Are you serious? I don’t know what I would say!!

Well, the beauty of this relationship is that it is very intimate.  Therefore, you can be vulnerable, silly, and emotional…basically say or ask anything you want.

Aren’t you curious to know what she likes, what she needs to feel vibrant and what she has to share?

I know it’s a little out there to think you can have a conversation with a part of your body but here’s the thing…YOUR BODY TALKS! All of your body and its parts have an experience and those experiences are stored within the body until the day you die…or release them…whichever comes first.

Getting to know your yoni through a conversation can transform your entire sexual experiences. 

You can empower yourself through your relationship with your yoni. You can talk with her, you can touch her with love, and witness her.

If you are feeling hesitant about what you might hear from her that is TOTALLY OK.  Unfortunately, most women have had a not so great experiences sexually and our yoni was directly affected.  No matter what experiences you have had in the past, you are now in this time and space which holds the potential to release anything that no longer serves you. 

This is for you to feel your power.  

Talking with your yoni creates intimacy between you and your sexual center.  

Your sexual center is not only the physical but also energetic. There are two main energetic chakras that are in the pelvic space…the root and sacral chakra.  These wheels of energy are the foundational aspects of our human experience. 

When they are blocked or numb or stuck, we can feel disconnected from our sexual and sensual selves, stuck in fight or flight, and not feeling safe.  When we open these chakras, we open up to being on this planet as safe, creative, sexual beings.

So here’s the deal, below are a list of questions you can ask your yoni to prompt conversation.  I suggest asking these questions alone in a safe space. 

Place your hands on your yoni.  This provides more attention and awareness to this area.  It also begins the energetic connection to her. I speak of the yoni as her but feel free to address your yoni in whatever way feels best for you. In fact, you can ask it how it wants to be addressed. 

Let your yoni guide the way.

Begin with introducing yourself.  Often we are so disconnected from our intimate space that we need to start by bringing our attention to it. 

Think of this as a meditation. You can lay down or sit in a very comfortable position. The idea is to be comfortable and relaxed. Let her know you are here for her giving her your undivided attention and it is safe to talk.

You will be using a different part of your brain, the nonlinear part, to connect and listen to the energy of your yoni. The energetic realms give you information beyond what you can see in the 3D realm.

To get to know the energy of your yoni you must first be willing to slow down, take a pause and allow yourself to connect to the energetic realm.

Grab a journal dedicated to you these conversations. There is no filtering in this practice.  You must write down the first thing that comes to your mind even if it is silly or doesn’t make sense or even outrageous…something you would never say out loud. 

The trick to all of this is to trust your intuition.  Trust the first thought that comes to mind after asking the question. 

The beauty of this practice is you don’t have to share it with anyone but yourself.  This is the conversation between you and her.  This is an opportunity to get REAL!! And get to know who she is and what she really wants.

 Building this relationship is vital to holistic, authentic sexual satisfaction.


Here are some conversation starters you can ask your yoni:


  • What do you want me to call you?
  • What name do you want to go by?
  • How do you feel about your hair?
  • What color describes you most?
  • If you could be any animal what would you be?
  • What are 3 words that you would use to describe yourself?
  • Do you feel safe with me?
  • Was there a time that you didn’t feel safe?
  • Do you feel cared for?
  • How would you liked to be cared for?
  • How can I show you more love?
  • If you could dress up what would you wear?
  • How often do you want to have sex with someone?
  • What is your favorite toy I use with you?
  • Do you feel satisfied with our current sexual partner? If not, what do you need from them?
  • If you don’t have a sexual partner, what kind of sexual partner do you want? What qualities do you like in a sexual partner?
  • What kind of dance would you like to dance?
  • What is your ultimate pleasure scenario?
  • What is one important thing you want me to know about you?


Take your time with this practice. Come up with your own questions to dive deeper.  You can use your crystal wands and jade eggs to help assist you in clearing away any energy that you find no longer serves your yoni.

Remember, your yoni is special, unique and deserves your attention. Your yoni is a fundamental aspect of your expression on this planet and you deserve to know her.

Have fun exploring!


Monique Gomez

To connect with Monique visit her site or check her out on social media.

moniquegomez.com or @intuitive_mo 

Photo credit: @fie.sommer

October 09, 2019 — A J