What we sometimes forget, is how important it is to set healthy boundaries with ourselves.

Whether you realize it or not, you have a relationship with yourself. It may be caring and kind, harsh and critical, or neglectful and seemingly non-existent.

Part of your relationship with yourself includes setting boundaries with yourself, it can be confusing at times, but once you learn to value yourself and honor what you bring to the table shifts will start. 

It is important to take ownership of your life, including your heart, mind, emotions, time, talents, work and maturing of your character.  And most importantly trust in yourself.  Trust the awkward things, the scary things and hard learning lessons.  Trust that your being invited into your higher self.  Don’t be afraid to say No to things and people that don’t serve you and don’t be afraid to say YES when it does serve you.

So exactly how do you set boundaries for yourself….

Name your limits

You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. So identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits. Consider what you can tolerate and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed. “Those feelings help us identify what our limits are.”

Be direct + Assertive

With some people, maintaining healthy boundaries doesn’t require a direct and clear-cut dialogue, but others, such as those who have a different personality or cultural background, you’ll need to be more direct about your boundaries. Don’t be scared to say no or assertively communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.

Give your self permission

Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. So give yourself the permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them.

Make self-care a priority

 Healthyboundaries are fundamental to self-care. Without them, we often fall into burnout, resentment, and frustration because we allow others into our sacred mental and physical space.It’s ok to put yourself first. 

Take breaks

One of the most difficult, yet most rewarding forms of boundary setting is to take a break from the relationships that no longer serve you.  If you have a one-sided friendship that leaves you feeling unseen, unheard, or disrespected, resolve to take a break from that relationship. And remember: It is not selfish or cruel to put your own well-being first. Healthy friendships are reciprocal and mutually nourishing, not one-sided and depleting.


Boundaries are tools that enable us to feel safe, strong, and empowered in our relationships. As your journey progresses, you’ll begin to feel more empowered by the truth that it’s not only your right, but your duty, to make the choices that are best for you. Setting boundaries is not selfish and they aren’t created to offend anyone they are created to honor “you”.  

Just watch how setting a new standard for yourself will filter out the people who don’t deserve your energy.

October 24, 2019 — A J