Vanilla Rose lingers in the air.

You are fully present to the experience.

Sabrina Claudio plays in the background.

Heavy breathing and light touches send electric tingles through your spine.

There are no thoughts that distract you.

There is only sensation.

This is sex worth having.

This is life worth living:

One where you are connected to your senses and the experiences that arise from this.




The unfortunate truth of our culture is that many of us live in our minds, constantly thinking about the next thought before we have even had the time to finish the current thought.

We are rushing around, forgetting to taste our food, smell the flowers, and just stop and watch the clouds pass by.

What happened to full presence living?

What happened to being present for life?


This bleeds into our sex as well.

Rushed movements, intrusive thoughts about things that don’t matter,

“Oh my god, do I look bad?”

“Was I supposed to pick up the dry cleaning today?”

“Did I send that e-mail?”

It all distracts us from enjoying the pleasure that is available now.


After years of embodied work into being present, I have come to an understanding that the more I pay attention, the more I see.

I have become an expert at living in the senses, and I want to share how it can be possible for you: in your sex life and beyond.


So many of us are running away from living in our bodies and therefore the moment.

There is too much pain to deal with, too many emotions that aren’t processed, and it is easier to live in disassociation.

But when you live dissociated, you aren’t really living.

You are merely existing.

To move beyond this, you have to be willing to face what you haven’t. When you are present in your body, things willshow up. Pain, grief, anger, hurt.

All the things you couldn’t face will be asked to be confronted. Especially in sex. You must be brave enough to face it. Triggers and traumas that are asking to be seen will need to be seen.

I’ve cried so many times in sex I have lost count.

Joyful tears.

Painful tears.

Tears of release.

The more present I become, the more junk gets cleared out.

Until I am a soaring, euphoric woman of desire and radiance.

If you need the support, reach out to a professional. They can help you navigate the unprocessed experiences and emotions that will appear. Look into somatic healing. You don’t have to do it alone.


Some simple ways to begin anchoring into the present is through breath and mindfulness.

Take a few minutes out of your day to simply witness yourself breathing.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

Thoughts will appear, but you don’t have to cling to them. Just keep focusing on your breath.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

While you drink your coffee, be completely immersed in the experience of drinking your coffee.

When you are getting dressed, be completely immersed in the experience of getting dressed.

Little moments in life where you can become present to it will help you in your journey.




When it comes to sex, how can you include more sensory experiences?

You can use tools that illicit different sensations.

A feather.

Candle wax.

A rose gliding along your skin.

Make your pleasure sessions an erotic sensory playground.

Play the music you want.

Include the scents you want to smell.

Most of all: be present with what you are feeling.

Refuse to just go through the motions.

When intrusive thoughts appear, stop and breathe.

When you feel yourself disassociating, stop and breathe.

Create an atmosphere that wants to keep you present, and take the time to stay present.

This work lasts a lifetime. Be compassionate with your experiences and know that you don’t have to get it right each time.

Sex and life can be a sensory delight.

Let yourself live it.

Written By: Tania Maldanado
Social: @iamtaniaheart



Artwork: Joyce Lee
July 14, 2021 — A J
Tags: sensory play