Edging: The Art of Withholding
Have you heard of the really fun way to increase the power of your orgasm? It’s called edging and in my personal opinion it’s something everybody needs to try.
Basically you are withholding your orgasm to get more pleasure. Edging is about coming close to your orgasm but not letting yourself go over the “edge”. It’s a powerful practice that explores your capacity for pleasure.
Why practice edging?
When you practice edging, you play with your pleasure threshold. You can create intense orgasms by coming close then pausing or stopping, letting the arousal drop for a few seconds then start again. This technique can be really fun and exciting because you have to stay very present to know when you are reaching your edge and consciously stepping away from it. If you come easily or quickly you can practice edging to learn how to hold space for more pleasure.
One way to edge is to move the stimulation to different places on the body. For example, if you are rubbing your clit and you are starting to feel the edge, stop, and try nipple stimulation. The point is getting close to climax then stopping or doing something else to keep you aroused but not going into orgasm.
Edging is a tool that can keep you exploring for much longer in sexual play resulting in more intense orgasms. You stay in a higher state of arousal for longer periods of time which builds the sexual energy.
Why does edging feel so good?
As we stay in heightened states of arousal, the blood flow remains in our pelvis which increases pleasure. Men and woman have erectile tissue that when increased blood flow comes into the pelvis it heightens pleasure. With edging you keep that blood flow in the space which creates more pleasure. You aren’t releasing it through orgasm so it stays sitting there ready for release. When the release finally happens, it can be more intense, pleasurable and last longer.
Give yourself Time
Edging takes time to play in. For success in this play technique, make sure you have time so you are not being rushed. Finding relaxation is important so you can be present with yourself and your edge. Give yourself permission to take all the time it will take for you to play with edging. Remember, for most woman this is used to increase your orgasmic potential. For men, this can help build stamina in sex or with pre-ejaculation.
The point is to delay orgasm so it can take a lot of pressure off to get to orgasm. If there is anxiety or stress around finishing, edging is perfect to lighten that up.
You can play with edging in self-pleasure or with a partner. There is not a right way or wrong way to do this. You can use your yoni wands, vibrators or hands to get to the edge.
Edging with a Partner
Exploring edging with your partner can be super sexy. The key to keep it sexy is to communicate. You need to let your partner know what you are doing or that you want to try edging so they are not confused when you come close then stop completely or distract or move to something else.
Red light, Yellow light, Green light.
You can use these cues with your partner to let them know when you are close and want to stop. Red means stop stimulation completely. Yellow means move to another part of the body. Green means start stimulation again.
Three variations of Edging:
- Coming close, pause, going down to zero, then rebuild
This can be the longest practice of edging but most say they experience the most intense orgasms. In this variation, you bring yourself close to orgasm then stop completely. This is “Red light”. The arousal goes away then you build it up again.
- Getting distracted to keep the orgasm away
As you come close to orgasm, you distract yourself by putting the focus, touch, stimulation on another part of your body. You can tap, caress, or lightly touch around your clit when you get close to orgasm. This is “Yellow Light”. You’re not stopping completely but you are distracting from the main area of pleasure stimulation.
- Continuous Edging
Coming close to orgasm then knowing when to stop stroking the clit and moving to another pleasurable area. You don’t drop the pleasure and stimulation completely but you do move away to the edge by changing the pressure or pace of touch.
Edging can be a practice for both yoni and cock bodied people to harness your sexual energy. If you find yourself at the point of no return, try to start edging earlier. It can be tempting to allow the orgasm to overtake you but if you pause, wait and let the next one come, it will be more pleasurable.
Have fun exploring!!
Intimacy & Embodiment Coach/Educator