2019 seemed to be the year of self-love and self-care, these two words were blasted all over social media and it wasn’t until just recently that I started to recognize the importance of it.  I was depriving my-self of so much joy and pleasure by “wishing” I was…

For so many years I wanted my body to be smaller, tighter, taller… I wished it was pretty much everything it wasn’t.  I spent so much time and energy focusing on what I “wished” I looked like instead of embracing what I was.  When we get into our heads—meaning when we prioritize thinking over feeling and being—our thoughts and actions take on a compulsive quality and our body gets tense and tight. It’s starts to numb your sensations and creates a disconnect from your body. 

When I first began my journey of self-love it was hard to let go of my perceived image of myself.  Being comfortable in your own skin is the foundation to pleasure.  If you’re not comfortable in your own skin, how are you able to enjoy her?  

I began by turning little things into sensory play; putting lotion on my legs, when I brushed my hair, sensual eating, smiling at myself in the mirror.  It was uncomfortable and even awkward at first, but after a week, I was actually really enjoying it.  I could literally start to feel my senses coming alive, I was actually feeling pleasure in these little things and it was great!  I started to take it a little further by purchasing my first yoni wand (a crystal dildo) These are said to be best in helping you connect to your body, I chose the rose quartz because of its “self-love” crystal properties) To be honest I was never one that self-pleasured, so just as before it was a little uncomfortable at first, but it didn’t take long before I was dipping into a little session a couple times a week.  It’s amazing how stimulating your senses can transform your perception. 

“When we connect back into our body, we tap into a source of great power and a portal to unlocking who we truly are.” – Micheala Boehm 

I challenge you to some sensory play!  Just as I did before, start slow by incorporating it into the things you’re already doing.  As you rub lotion on your legs, really embrace your size, curves, dimples, etc., everything about them…. and really enjoy the sensation you can bring yourself.  Play around with different speeds and pressures gliding soft and slow or fast with pressure.  

Your body is a portal to pleasure, it’s the mind-body connection that is the secret to deeper, greater pleasure.   Start enjoying that body of yours because it is right there waiting to be unleashed.   


Photo Credit: @rileyticotin in Playboy - shot by @heatherhazzan and styled by @calvy.click as the January 2020 playmate!

January 16, 2020 — A J