Safety: The Pathway to Amazing Sex

Sexual intimacy of the transcendent kind.

We all crave it.

Hope for it.

Yearn for it.

But how do we reach it?

Through the years of sexual healing and transformation I have come to realize the importance of safety in truly, epic, nirvana feeling sex.

Safety in the self.

Safety in the body.

Safety with your partner.

These are all aspects that contribute to true surrender, and true surrender leads to God seeing experiences.

So how can we cultivate safety?

The first step begins with you.

Most women tend to spend their day in a high stress response.

Disconnected from themselves, they doubt their choices, their actions, and their body’s wisdom.

This is a killer of developing safety in yourself.

Now, it’s okay if you don’t trust yourself.

Trauma and life conditions can create this state.

But you don’t have to stay that way.

When you commit to trusting yourself and the wisdom of your body, you can begin to heal and have a fulfilling and enriching life- including your sex life.

Somatic Therapy is a great tool if you have gone through events that have left you feeling unsafe.

Meditation, Yoga, and affirmations are also great tools to use in getting back into your body and learning to trust yourself again.

An affirmation you can begin today is,

“I trust in the wisdom of my body. I am safe here. I trust that I am guided and protected.”

Try it out for yourself. See how it feels.

When you learn that it is safe to be in your body, you begin to develop the sensitivity that is available there.

When you tune into your sensitivity, everything becomes heightened, including the pleasure that you can experience.

Fostering safety in your body will allow you to relax during sexual encounters and we know, relaxation is crucial for yummy sex.

Now, what happens if you don’t feel safe with a partner?

This will block you from truly surrendering to them.

So learning to feel safe with them is key as well.

Taking the time to communicate your needs, your desires, and creating a loving connection will help with this task.

When you prioritize safety in yourself first, you will be able to distinguish between partners who are worthy of your trust and partners who are not.

Keep that in mind.

If you are constantly feeling unsafe with someone, if your body is speaking to you this way, it is important to listen.

Remember: your body is wise and is always guiding you and protecting you.

If you feel unsafe because of past experiences or trauma, that is also something to look at.

That is why the inner work always comes first.

As you tend to the safety within yourself, you will be able to do this with the person or people you are sexually exploring with.

If they honor you and are willing to take the time to establish trust and safety with you, they are worth the gift of your sexual intimacy.

Imagine how it would feel, to be utterly safe and held.

Imagine how deeply you could surrender.

Imagine how much pleasure you could experience.

All of that is possible.

Cultivate safety and see just how possible it is.

Written By Tania Maldonado - @iamtaniahart

 Photo Credit: @tinamariaelena