An Honest Guide | How to introduce crystal sex toys in the bedroom

I love to sexually explore with my man.

It is a space in our relationship where we agree on mostly everything. 

He is kinky, I am sensual, and together we create wild, delicious moments together.

It is a partnership that is sexually liberating because we are both open to each other’s desires and fantasies.

This wasn’t always the case in my love life though.

My last partner wasn’t as adventurous.

 

He didn’t enjoy the idea that I self pleasured, and he hated the idea that I would use crystal eggs or toys.

I mean yeah, using crystals to self pleasure can sound odd right?  Who puts rocks in their yoni? 

Every time I brought it up, he closed up, shut down, and couldn’t handle the fact that I was a woman with varied needs that enjoyed to explore.

I tried so hard to sway him and find a middle ground but he never wanted to budge.

This incompatibility contributed to our inevitable demise, and the experience gave me an understanding on the different ways men can react to sexual nuances like toys.

Maybe you can relate?

The age old question of, “how do I include more fun into my sex life without hurting his ego?” is one that is asked by many women looking to expand the bedroom play.

Articles have been written about how to be sexy and coy when it comes to introducing toys.

“Bring it up slowly”

“Do it when he’s in a good mood”

“Make sure he knows that you enjoy his cock more”

So many rules so he doesn’t get offended when it comes the topic.

Now, this is understandable. There can be a huge insecurity when it comes to performance, for both men and women.

It is important to approach the subject with playfulness and love, because when introducing our favorite crystal toy, the way we do it can determine how they react.

But what happens when he is just not into it? What happens if he is a big NO?

My partner had an enlightening opinion when I asked him for this article.

“At the end of the day, if he doesn’t want it, that’s his boundary. You can’t try and force it, or try to convince him.”

Honest words from a hot blooded man.

You can try all the tricks to get him interested.

You can make it a game.

You can make it sexy.

If you really want to bring your rose quartz dildo to the bedroom, talk to him about it.

Be soft and open.

Paint a picture of how it would be like, be as descriptive as you want to be ;)

Let him know that you want to experience so much with him and that includes bringing toys into your sessions.

If he is personally open to it, he will respond accordingly. He might be shy, hesitant, even excited, but if he is willing you will know.

If he is not, then it is up to you on how you want to proceed.

Maybe it’s not a big deal, maybe it’s a deal breaker, whatever the case, there are no tricks you can perform when it comes to authentic sexual exploration. 

There is only openness, curiosity, honesty, and compassion.

So get talking, get vulnerable, and share your crystal toy desires.

Written by Tania Hart