Happy National Retro Day: A Journey Through Time with Crystals and Sage
Happy National Retro Day, beautiful souls! Today, we're diving deep into the mystic world of yesteryears, celebrating the timeless charm of crystals and sage. These ancient tools have been our ancestors' companions, guiding them through the realms of spiritual healing and protection. Let's embark on a retro ride, exploring their history, the evolution of beliefs, and why these age-old practices are more relevant than ever in our modern lives.
The Ancient Allure: A Glimpse into History
Crystals: Since the dawn of civilization, crystals have been revered for their beauty and energy. The Egyptians adorned themselves with Lapis Lazuli for protection and insight, while the Greeks used Hematite in battle for strength. Fast forward to the Middle Ages, crystals were integral to healing practices, believed to ward off illnesses and negative energy.
Sage and Cleansing: Sage has its roots deep in the ancient cultures of the world. Native Americans and indigenous tribes used sage for cleansing rituals, believing it could clear negative energy and purify spaces. This sacred practice was thought to bring balance, peace, and protection to both the physical and spiritual realms.
The Evolution of Beliefs
Why We Still Love Them Today
Celebrating with GemstoneYoni.com
In honor of National Retro Day, explore our collection of healing crystals and sage at GemstoneYoni.com. From Rose Quartz Yoni Eggs for love and harmony to Black Obsidian for protection and grounding, find your perfect retro companion to guide you on your journey of self-discovery and healing.
A Step Outside: Explore More
For those looking to deepen their knowledge, The Crystal Bible is an excellent resource, offering insights into the properties and uses of hundreds of crystals.
How to Cleanse Your Crystals: A Step-by-Step Guide
Closing Thoughts
This National Retro Day, let's embrace the wisdom of the past to enrich our present and future. Crystals and sage have stood the test of time, not just as relics of ancient rituals, but as living symbols of healing, protection, and personal growth. Dive into the retro vibe, explore the mystic, and let these timeless treasures inspire a deeper connection with the world around and within you.
Happy cleansing, and may your journey with crystals and sage bring you peace, clarity, and joy!
]]>Our bodies are magical. Seriously. And our bodies are capable of so many different kinds of pleasures and orgasms.
]]>Our bodies are magical.
Seriously.
And our bodies are capable of so many different kinds of pleasures and orgasms.
Clitoral.
G- Spot.
Cervical.
Anal.
And so so much more.
But how can you have these different orgasms?
Here’s a little guideline on how:
1. Amplify your Sensitivity
Because our bodies hold trauma as well, we can become numb which is a deterrent to pleasure. To feel the orgasms your body is capable of requires de-armouring your body. Internal massages, slow touch, and healing will help accomplish this.
2. Have the right Tools
Instead of trying to do it all yourself, tools and toys can be a less stressful way to help you feel the different kind of pleasures. They are designed for it.
3. Establish Safety in your Body
If you do not feel safe, it is hard to feel pleasure. So take time to soothe your nervous system by focusing on your breathing. Make sure you finish tasks that might occupy your mind before you have a pleasure session, and only do what feels good for you. If something feels off, stop to breathe, establish safety again, or do something else that will feel better. Never do something you are not comfortable with.
4. Fantasize
Use your imagination, or read a spicy book that gets you hot and bothered. Increase your arousal by indulging in these fantasies. The more turned on you are, the easier it will be to reach different orgasms.
If you want to feel a clitoral orgasm… check out the O-Gem
If you want to feel a G-Spot Orgasm…. Check out the Rose Quartz G-spot
If you want to feel a Cervical Orgasm…. Check out the Sacred Slim
If you want to feel an Anal Orgasm…. Check out the My Beau
Remember, be patient with yourself, and have fun with the sensations your body can feel! It can take days, weeks, or even months, so don’t feel bad if you cannot reach a specific orgasm. Focus on feeling as much pleasure as you can, and enjoy what you experience.
]]>It’s always there for us, gets the pleasure flowing, and can always lead us to a nice, sweet O.
Who wouldn’t? It’s always there for us, gets the pleasure flowing, and can always lead us to a nice, sweet O.
Sometimes, our partners don’t love the vibrator though.
They might see it as competition.
The truth is, most of us never want to hear we are not doing enough for our partners, and these toys can be viewed as them not doing enough.
But that isn’t always the case and it has nothing to do with their performance.
In fact, there is an opportunity to foster greater intimacy with the introduction of toys because it lets us open up to our desires and helps us communicate better.
So, if you’ve been wanting to bring more toys into the bedroom, here are some tips you can incorporate so both you and your partner can feel comfortable and aligned with doing so.
Use it while they Watch
Trust me, your partner loves to see your turn on, so why not invite them to watch you as you pleasure yourself?
Let them know you are thinking about their hands on your body, their mouth, their everything while you do it.
If you’re too shy to try this out in person, make it into a phone convo instead.
Not only will it make them HOT, but it will also allow an opening into more toys into your together sessions.
Bring up a Playful Talk
Bring up the conversation when you are both in good moods. Ask about their fantasies and what toys they would love to bring into the bedroom. Offer your fantasies and your desire to use a vibrator together.
When you are communicative with your partner about your desires, and they care about you, they will honour your desires and want to fulfill them.
Let them Explore the Vibrator
If they are open to it, let them explore it on their own body. Let them feel the sensations and ask them to communicate to you what they are experiencing.
Then when you are both ready, let them us it on you.
Talk to them during the process and let them know the sensations you are feeling.
At the end of the day, the partner who is right for you will be open to your desires and needs. Communicating about what you like, and bringing a vibrator into the bedroom will foster a deeper bond between the two of you because you are both open to exploring each other fully.
Have fun with it, and don’t be afraid to let your lover know how good it feels, when you are both in it together.
This is a powerful time. As the longest night of the year, this day symbolizes the return of the light. After this day, the nights become shorter and shorter until we arrive to the Spring Equinox and the return of the warmth.
For thousands of years, those who lived in the North celebrated this day in honoring nature, the elements, and gathering together in ritual. These were hard times, but the Solstice signified that the Sun would soon return, and the longest nights were now passed them. We rely on the seasons of nature, in fact we are the seasons of nature, and taking time to honor these moments allows us to connect back to our human roots. If we strip everything back, these cycles are crucial for our survival, and deserve to be respected and honored.
So how can you celebrate the Winter Solstice? You can create a ritual for this special day.
Here are 3 we have crafted for you. Choose the one that resonates the most and enjoy this special day of the year.
Solstice Bath Who doesn’t love a good bath? This ritual is perfect if you want to incorporate self-care in your celebration. We know the holiday season can be stressful, so instead of adding something else on your to do list, a bath will help you relax, cleanse, and honor the day. Use oranges to decorate your bath and to represent the power of the sun. If you have some orange essential oil, put a few drops in as well. Have lots of candles to celebrate the return of the light and relax into the circus filled bath. Let yourself release any stress and meditate of how the energy of the Sun impacts your life.
Journaling Ritual A great time for self-reflection, these questions will help you connect to the energy of the Solstice, and feel gratitude for this time. All you need are a notebook, pen, a candle, and a cup of tea. As you light your candle and set up the space where you will write, think about what the darkness means for you. Think about what the light means for you. When you are ready, answer these questions.
Let the words come however they want to. When you are finished, read your responses over and reflect on them.
Make a Homemade Solstice Soup During this time of the year our bodies crave warmth and a soup is a beautiful way to fulfill that craving. One of my favorites is butternut squash soup, which is a nice yellow color to represent the Sun. If you enjoy something else, cook that for yourself (bonus points if it's yellow or orange.) If you don’t have the time, buy some soup from your favorite restaurant. As you heat up the soup or make it from scratch (whatever you prefer) speak words of gratitude into the soup. Thank the soup for the warmth you will receive, just as the sun gives you warmth. Thank nature for providing nourishment and everything you need to live. Have some bread to dip, and enjoy the meal full of gratitude and light. If you want a recipe, here’s a great one for butternut squash soup.
Whichever ritual you choose, as long as you have the intention to celebrate the day, you cannot go wrong. Enjoy and remember the beauty of nature, the earth, and the Sun.
]]>As women, we are claiming our sexual power in ways that we haven’t yet had the opportunity to do. More and more women are realizing that their pleasure is literally in their hands. There are a myriad of toys available to purchase, erotic films dedicated to women’s pleasure, and books highlighting the ways we can explore our bodies.1
There is still some stigma about it, though. At Gemstone Yoni, we want every single woman to feel empowered enough to explore their pleasure, their bodies, and their sexual autonomy through self pleasure.
Why self pleasure though? Well, self pleasure brings many benefits to everyone, especially women, beyond an orgasm. So why should you practice solo self pleasure?
Self Pleasure may Increase your Libido
The more you do something that feels good, the more you want to do it. If you are lacking in desire to engage in sex with your partner, self pleasure can help in boosting your libido. This can bring more harmony into your partnership, and create a deeper intimacy.
Self Pleasure can Help you Sleep Better
If you orgasm before bed, you have a better chance at a deeper, more restful sleep. So, if you are having trouble falling asleep, bring out a toy, have some orgasmic fun, and see how that affects your ability to rest during the night.
Self Pleasure Teaches you about your Body
When you self pleasure, you are learning about yourself, your desires, and your turn ons. This can bring you a sense of empowerment and confidence because you are no longer ignorant on what you want. If you want a great sex life, self pleasure is necessary, because when you know what you want, you can show others how to please you.
Self Pleasure can Help Improve your Skin
Having an orgasm increases your estrogen levels which can drastically improve the look and feel of your skin. We all know that post orgasm glow, there is a reason for it! So, more self pleasure means better looking skin.
Self Pleasure can Increase your Mood
A regular self pleasure practice can bring more happiness to your life. Your body is flooded with dopamine and oxytocin when you orgasm which are neurotransmitters needed to feel good. You can experience less stress due to a decrease in cortisol.
Self Pleasure can Help Reduce Pain
Because of the neurotransmitters released during an orgasm, self pleasure can also help that headache you have. It also raises your pain tolerance, which means if you are feeling pain, it doesn’t seem as bad because your body can handle it better.
Self Pleasure can Strengthen your Pelvic Floor Muscles
When you self pleasure, and orgasm, you are actively working your pelvic floor muscles. This will help with preventing prolapse, incontinence, and painful sex from a result of weakened muscles. A strong Pelvic floor is the foundation for a healthy body, and self pleasure will assist in that.
Self Pleasure can Increase Overall Confidence
It feels empowering to take your pleasure in your own hands, and so, because of this, women who regularly self pleasure feel more confidence in their daily lives.
Sex is where we expose our erotic body, desires and imperfections, and (hopefully) receive pleasure, acceptance and admiration (or a good spanking if that’s your thing) for just being who we are.
And there’s nothing better than feeling seen and embraced for our weird, naughty, “perverted” (what a shaming word!) little quirks. Because the truth is, there is no right or wrong way to have sex, only the right way for you (and your lovers). And as long as it’s done with agency and consent by all parties involved, it’s healthy.
We’re born fully integrated without any sense that our eroticism is wrong, dirty or private. The blatant or unintentional shaming that we receive for being naturally sexual causes us to compartmentalize our sexual self.
Reflect:
Most of us carry sexual shame, varying only in degree. The desires, pleasures, preferences, turn ons deemed dirty or too much, the cristicism you internalized around how your body looks (different from what the media portrays as sexy or pretty), all live in your sexual shadow.
But when we intentionally nudge these shadowy aspects of ourselves, at our own pace, into the light, where flowers bloom and the sun warms without bias, something magnificent happens: Overtime, the resistance we feel to who we are (and not just sexually) softens and defuses, limiting us less and less.
Through sexual role play or power dynamics we can explore shadow themes – like manipulation, coercion, powerlessness, jealousy, sluttiness, vanity, rule breaking (e.g., the teacher’s pet secretly fucking the principle in his office), infidelity, objectification, being taken against our will, taking what we want, power over another, and anything else taboo you can dream up! – which often go against our personal values and cultural status quo, yet can be intensely arousing.
Sex is a playground where we get to try on different costumes, words, personas, fantasies and see how they feel, testing whether or not they touch parts of us that want to be expressed. Sex is a place where we find our voice, our power, our softness.
The most important thing is that as you play, you’re tracking how your body, yoni, and mind respond:
Exploration of your sexual shadow is a pathway to wholeness. As Jung wrote: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious” (quoted in The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin).
Now, go play!
By Allie Andrews, Intimacy, Embodiment & Sex Coach (Somatica® trained)
Instagram: @iamallieandrews
]]>There is power in loving yourself. A deep well of power, because when you love yourself, you are no longer susceptible to manipulation.
]]>There is power in loving yourself.
A deep well of power, because when you love yourself, you are no longer susceptible to manipulation.
This means that you cannot be swayed into choices, thoughts, and situations that go against your high level of self-worth.
A woman in love with herself says no to things that do not serve her, says yes to things that do, and does not sacrifice her well-being for anyone or anything.
The culture we have grown up in does not allow for this level of self-love.
In a system that benefits from self-loathing, we have been subconsciously sold the idea of low self-worth.
With a lack of self-love, we buy the products that will make us “thinner, more beautiful, more worthy, and more loveable.”
All of this puts the money and the power in the hands of those who sells us the idea that we should hate ourselves.
As we awaken to our power, we are awakening to the deep truth of the love that we are.
We are rewriting these stories of self-loathing into self-love.
The journey from self-hate to self-love is a tender one, so we have put together a list of 5 ways you can develop more self-love.
#1 Practice Self-Acceptance
Before you can truly love yourself, you must go through the stage of self-acceptance. This requires radical honesty of who you are and the ability to accept yourself as you are.
This does not mean trying to change yourself into self-love. It does not work that way. The self-help industry is worth billions of dollars, and involves the idea that there is a “better you.”
Evolution and change is human nature. We are meant to shift and transform, but when you are being told you must change, that somehow, the way you are isn’t worthy enough, is a trap.
Can you accept all of you?
The dark and the light?
If you can’t, that is where the work comes in.
An affirmation you can begin to implement into your day is, “I am open to accepting myself as I am”
This will help you on the journey to self-acceptance, and then self-love.
#2 Mirror Work
As women, a lot of our low self-worth and loathing comes from our appearance.
Fashion models, actresses, and their perfect airbrushed skin has created a deep dysphoria about how we look. We try so many ways to make ourselves look like the current beauty trend.
The reality is, though, is that we are all beautiful in our own way. Like flowers, unique and worthy of love.
A mirror work practice can help you see this.
Take 5 minutes out of your day to spend time with yourself in front of a mirror.
This can be extremely difficult for some, and that’s okay if you find it that way.
The path of self-acceptance comes through in this mirror work practice as well, because it asks of you to be with the way you are, now.
Your reflection is yours to love.
Can you admire your form, your unique way of being?
A mirror work practice can help you begin to love and accept your physical form.
#3 Move in a Way that Nourishes You
Unfortunately, many women workout as a form of punishment.
They do not like themselves, and so they try to change their figure through unhealthy methods.
This will not help you love yourself, and can in fact, create more problems with yourself image.
Instead of doing a workout because you want to “be thinner, fitter, etc”, try a form of movement that is fun, inspiring, and nourishing.
Let yourself enjoy the type of movement you engage in.
Your body loves to move, so let it move in a way that is truly healthy.
#4 Hug Yourself
This is a simple yet powerful way to develop more self-love.
When was the last time you hugged yourself? Touched yourself with loving intentions?
Try it now.
Wrap your arms around yourself.
Stay that way for a minute.
How does it make you feel?
When we are in a space of self-loathing, most of our touch is filled with the energy of “not enough”
You pinch your fat in disgust.
You assess your skin for imperfections.
When you hug yourself, you are giving yourself love.
You are saying “you are enough” “I love you” and it is healing to do so.
Hug yourself more often. You deserve a loving touch from yourself.
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#5 Work with Rose Quartz
The energy of the Rose Quartz Crystal is pure love.
A soft inviting energy, this crystal helps you develop self-love through this energy.
Connected to the heart, when you work with this crystal your heart opens and heals, allowing you to love yourself deeper.
When it comes to working with a crystal, you want to program your intentions into it.
The intention of self-love works beautifully with Rose Quartz.
Because of the gentle nature of this crystal, you can work with it often.
Developing self-love is very much possible, and when you implement one or all of these ways, you are going further on the path of loving yourself.
It will take time and dedication to rewrite all the stories of self-loathing, but every time you do, you are healing towards love.
It is where life begins, both physically and spiritually.
But as we live our lives, the womb stores trauma, emotions, and experiences that can create a lot of pain, numbness, and disconnection.
That is why womb healing is so important, especially in this modern world.
When the feminine was revered, womb healing was a natural part of life. Midwives, healers, and medicine woman knew how to keep this centre healthy and nourished.
As the feminine began to be taken out of religion and the patriarchy began more popular, these practices moved underground, and many women did not have access to the healing.
Now, we are remembering and practicing again.
We are waking up to the power of our wombs, and we are dedicating ourselves to the healing and renewal of this powerful space.
If you are interested in healing your own womb, we got you covered with this blog. Below you will find 3 different practices you can implement into your life to begin healing your womb and accessing this potent energy.
Practice #1: Yoni Steam
This is a practice that has been around for thousands of years. A yoni steam is the process of gathering specific herbs, placing them in boiled water, and squatting over the steam so it can enter your vagina and womb.
Because it has been around for so long, we have seen the benefits that a yoni steam can create.
Some benefits include:
The medicine of the herbs aid in the healing of the womb, and can help you release anything that does not belong in the space of your womb.
These herbs can generally be used in a steam:
Each herb has its unique benefits, and when used as a mix will add a potency to your steam.
Some caution to yoni steaming: you should not do it while you are actively bleeding or pregnant. Do not steam longer than 30 minutes, and begin with a steam every two weeks to see how your body reacts.
Practice #2: Self Pleasure
Pleasure is healing and when you take the time to pleasure yourself with mindfulness and intention, this healing can have exceptional results.
The womb can hold so many unprocessed pain and emotions, because it is the centre of emotions and sensuality, so when you self pleasure, you are making the space to feel those emotions.
Now, I’m not talking about a quick orgasm here.
I am talking about slow, intentional, and sensual self pleasure.
Taking the time to warm up your body, taking the time to build up your pleasure, and taking the time to feel whatever feelings show up.
This means no visual distractions through pornography or intense stimulation with a vibrator.
If you really want to go deep, a crystal wand will be perfect for this specific practice.
The practice itself is to allow as much pleasure in your body so it can act as a healing portal.
Practice #3: Womb Massage
We know massage heals, so when you specifically take the time to massage your womb, you are using touch to move any stagnancy and trauma that may be stored there.
There are many different modalities of womb massage, but for this particular practice you will be using intuitive massage.
Grabbing your favorite oil (or our specific Yoni oil available in our store) begin the massage by setting an intention.
Whether you want to connect to your womb, clear emotions in your womb, or just want to send love to your womb, your intention will ground the practice.
When you have set your intention, you will massage your womb to how you feel comfortable. Go slow, and explore the way your womb feels. If you want to have a professional give you a womb massage, see if there are any in your area.
These 3 practices are powerful ways to heal the womb.
You can try one or you can try them all.
Remember: this womb healing journey will be unique for you. Explore what feels good for you, and allow yourself to receive support through healers if you need it.
.
To check out our Yoni steam, crystal wands, or Yoni oil, go to our store to get started on your womb healing journey. www.gemstoneyonieggs.com
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Here are two common areas where lovers can differ, which when unacknowledged can not only dull arousal and pleasure, leading to low desire, but can be sources of disconnection, hurt and even shame.
Partner Engagement is the dimension of sex we see represented in mainstream media: eye contact, romantic and passionate touch, loving words. People who like to play in this dimension get most aroused from being in connection with their partner.
Sexual Trance is when we go inward during sex. It is a highly embodied, energetic and for some even spiritual experience. In trance, the eyes are generally closed and the focus is on sensation and your own inner experience. When one person tends toward trance and the other likes eye contact and romantic words, the latter individual may feel slighted, maybe ever used, when in reality the trance partner is just connecting in a different way.
Role Play is when we take on different personas, maybe even wearing costumes, or play out our socially expected roles, such as gender roles. Sex is play for adults, role play is a wonderful way to get into the energy of play, and on a deeper level reclaim your sexual shadow.
As you can see, there is value in playing in each of these dimensions, and flowing between them, but most people have one or two that they find most arousing. Which do you tend toward? What about your partner(s)? Have you tried all three?
Start to explore your core desires by visualizing your hottest sexual experience or fantasy. You can also reflect on details of porn or erotica that you like best. What was the hottest thing about the experience/fantasy - the thing that made you wet and orgasm in an instant? What were the feelings that you had? Did you feel: desired, powerful, exposed, naughty, dirty, precious, eternally connected, needed, worshiped, free, in union, submissive, goddess-like, dissolved, deeply present, dominant…? Something else?
Don’t expect to have your core desires figured out overnight, but do start to pay closer attention. Remember, whether they are conscious or not, your core desires are working for you!
Knowing your partner’s favorite dimensions of sex and core desires can take sex and your relationship to a whole new level. But exploring and peeling back the shame on your own turn ons is where it all begins. As you explore these for yourself, and later with your partner(s), remember that there is no right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy, so long as the experience is within everyone’s boundaries.*
When you get curious about and appreciate the intricacies of your and your partners’ turn ons, you create space for both/all of you to be more fully yourselves, not only in the relationship, but out in the world too.
By Allie Andrews, Somatica® trained Sex, Relationship and Intimacy Coach
Instagram: @iamallieandrews
Photo Credit: @bensasso
*If you tend toward people pleasing and sometimes find yourself enduring sex that doesn’t feel good for you, read my article on embodied boundaries. As you explore with someone, it’s important to have your boundaries in place!
REFERENCES:
Our sexual energy is one of the most powerful energies on this planet. It is literally used to bring humans to this world.
It is our creative, life force energy.
Our vitality.
Our aliveness.
It is also a way to powerfully manifest whatever our hearts desire.
How do we do this? Through Sex Magick.
What is Sex Magick?
Sex Magick is a term used to describe directing orgasm and sexual energy into an intention or manifestation. By focusing this powerful energy into the intention you desire, that desire can quickly form into reality.
This is why it is so powerful, it is utilizing the energy of your orgasm into something other than pleasure.
Now, there is nothing wrong with an orgasm just for orgasm sake, but with sex magick, that energy is given direction into a specific purpose. This is where you are accessing your full powers as a creator.
How do you Prepare for Sex Magick?
Intention is key here.
Before you begin a self pleasure session, or a sex session with a lover, take the time to mediate on what it is you want to bring into reality using this energy.
When it comes to doing it with a partner, it is a little tricker, because it is another energy to consider. As long as they are doing the meditation process with you, and is focusing their energy on what you want to bring in, then it is fine. It will even amplify the energy more. But they have to be on the same page as you.
For a beginner, a solo session is best.
When it comes to the session, you must set the space for the manifestation.
Light candles, play music without lyrics, and sage the space.
When it comes to your actual manifestation, make it as clear, direct, and simple as you can.
It shouldn’t be too complicated, or a million things at once.
It can be a quality you want to embody, a physical object, or a goal.
Write it down on a piece of paper, speak it out loud, and declare that this sexual session is to amplify this intention.
When it comes down to it. how do you perform Sex Magick?
The build up is the cherry on top.
Don’t just quickly orgasm and get it over with it.
Prolong the experience.
Practice edging.
Let it be slow.
Let the energy build.
The more powerful the energy, the more powerful the manifestation.
As the energy builds, have the intention in the forefront of your mind.
Chant the manifestation if it helps.
Let it get bigger and bigger and bigger.
And then when you’re ready, orgasm with the manifestation on your thoughts. Scream it out.
Let the energy wash over you with the manifestation present.
Bask in the post glow knowing the manifestation is here.
What do you do after the Session is over?
All you have to do is let life do its thing.
Don’t try to control how it will come.
Don’t hyper fixate on it.
Believe that it is done, and it will be.
If you receive any intuitive hints, follow them.
If you have the desire to take action on something, follow that.
Listen to what shows up, and surrender to how it does.
There is so much power in Sex Magick. It shows us how much potential we have as creators. Have with it. Soon enough, you’ll be a powerful Sex Witch, manifesting all she wants, with her pleasure and orgasms.
The physical manifestation of the heart chakra are the breasts. Made to feed and nourish, our breasts are access points into connecting and healing the heart.
Your Heart Chakra Governs all Aspects of Love
Love of self.
Love of other.
It is the focal point in which we can access the frequency of love.
It is the way we can feel the deep connection to all, and luxuriate in that oneness.
When our hearts are blocked, we are not able to truly bask in the frequency of love.
Emotions like grief, sadness, and pain stored in the heart can create this disconnection.
When we do not deal with these emotions as they come, and instead ignore them or stuff them down, we are blocked from accessing the universal intelligence of l
We forget that love is all around us, including within us.
We are less compassionate, less understanding, and less forgiving.
But to truly live, we must live with an open heart.
We must be willing to expose our vulnerability, our deepest feelings, and receive the love that exists in everything.
The Heart-Breast Connection
The physical manifestation of the heart chakra are the breasts.
Made to feed and nourish, our breasts are access points into connecting and healing the heart.
When we care and pay attention to our breasts, we are able to release stored emotions which in turn allows us to feel clear and alive.
With the sexualization of breasts, most women shy away from noticing, or touching them, unless it is in a sexual manner.
But breasts are not inherently sexual.
They were made to feed life.
So how can we connect to our breasts to heal the heart?
Dry Brushing
Dry brushing is the act of clearing dead skin, improving circulation, and assisting in lymphatic drainage using a dry bristled brush.
By dry brushing the shoulders, neck, breasts, and arms, you are creating a conscious connection to the heart while also clearing it.
It is a great way to attend to your breasts and clear any emotions that want to be cleared.
Before you dry brush, set the intention that you are physically and energetically clearing away anything that no longer serves you.
Take deep breaths while you dry brush, go slow, and be mindful of the process.
Breast Massage
This is the most effective way to heal the heart through the breasts.
A breast massage is exactly what it sounds like- a massage for your breasts.
There are many benefits to a breast massage like:
Helps to detects any lumps
Supports lymphatic drainage
Produces more milk if you are breastfeeding
Eases sore muscles
Helps prevent sagging
Releases stagnant emotions
So, how do you perform a breast massage?
It is simple, and will only take 5 minutes of your time.
Have some oil handy, and take a few breaths before starting.
You can also set an intention before starting, like “This breast massage will help me feel more emotionally clear and joyful”
When you are ready you will grab your oil and place some in your hands. Rub your palms together and place your hands on your breasts.
Take a few seconds to breathe with your hands still.
You can then move your hands in a clockwise circular motion. Be gentle and apply pressure when needed. Let the circles become bigger and bigger as you move outward. Make sure to massage the entirety of your chest.
When you are finished take a few more seconds to sit in the energy created. It is normal if you cry or feel many different emotions come up as you massage yourself this way.
Know that you are connecting to the heart this way, and it’s healing to feel many things, let yourself feel them.
These ways of connecting to your heart chakra through your breasts will allow you to heal and connect to the love that is ever present- in you and in all.
Whereas men’s arousal is more spontaneous and destination-focused, women’s is more “right place, right time” and journey-focused (a phenomenon that is linked to hormonal differences, largely estrogen and testosterone).
For women, it helps to be in our receptive, feminine energy – surrendered and relaxed, without an outcome in mind – to maximize the pleasure we can receive from touch and stimulation. It also helps to know just what kind of foreplay, feelings and stimulation makes us feel most aroused.
Here 7 top tips for enhancing sexual pleasure so that you can have more of it in your life!
Run your sexual energy through your body all day long. Inhale and squeeze your yoni, feeling the sensation that arises in your pelvic floor. Pump this sensation up with your breath and swirl throughout your body. Try to keep this connection to your yoni throughout the day, this way it won’t be so hard to “get in the mood” when the opportunity strikes.
Pleasure happens in the mind. If the mind is distracted by something unsexy (to you), sensations that have the potential to be arousing and organismic will not be received. Use your breath to bring yourself back into your body. If you need to, find your partners eyes or ask them to grab your ass or waste to help ground you back into your body and senses.
This may sound contradictory to #2, which is all about embodiment, but if you’re someone who loves mental stimulation, this one's for you. Think of the hottest sexual experience you’ve ever had, watched or dreamt up. Running this fantasy through your mind during sex is not wrong if it makes it more enjoyable for you. Plus, many fantasies are arousing because they live in our head, such that we would never actually want to experience them (as is the case for rape fantasies). You can also try talking out your fantasy with your partner before sex.
This one builds on #3. When you think about your hottest sexual experiences and fantasies, there are details in there that are unique to you. These small details are gold when it comes to having the best sexual experiences of your life. They inform how you like to be touched, and how you want to feel during sex. For example, do you want to feel beautiful or degraded, spiritual or naughty, powerful or submissive? Do you like to be spanked or not? Do you like more passionate – grabbing, scratching, pulling, biting – or romantic, precious touch?
No shame here! Dipsea and even Spotify are great if you prefer (all are designed for women, by women) audio. Bellesa or Erica Lust films are great if you like the visual aspect of porn. Fun fact: I love listening to erotica on commutes or at the gym, it’s hot knowing that no one knows how turned on I am.
We see it all the time in the movies, women orgasming from penetration alone, which can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us if we don’t come like this too. But remember, movies (porn too) are for entertainment, they are not real life. In real life, most women (me included) need something on their clit to orgasm. Having something on your clit during sex, fingering, or using your crystal wand, whether it's a vibrator or your fingers, is the best way to enhance pleasure and get to orgasm. When your clitoris is aroused, it swells, which is what sensitizes the G-spot (or rather zone), and why you might enjoy penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time.
This is the holy grail of increasing sensation and pleasure from penetration. Doing your yoni egg exercises 3 to 4 times per week for 10-15 minutes will tone the vagina, increasing blood flow and re-sensitizing her throughout, so that you can feel more.
It’s time that we stop approaching pleasure as something to be earned or reserved for vacations and weekends. Pleasure is our birthright. Every. Single. Day. Now, go get more of it!
In this fast-paced, achievement-centric culture, many of us could use a bit more pleasure in our day. In fact, studies show arousal curbs anxiety – but I guess we don’t need a scientist to tell us that! In this live, experiential workshop we’ll explore practices to reconnect you to your sensuality, get to know your pleasure centers, and keep your sexual energy flowing so that you can experience more arousal and better sex. Because the more you prioritize your pleasure, the more magnetic you become!
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Here it comes, May 10th to June 3rd, Mercury Retrograde.
It comes often, 4 times a year, and every time it comes, there are always lessons for you to hear and integrate.
So what does this Retrograde have in store for you?
Get out of your Comfort Zone
The energy of this retrograde is powerful, and although it is unique for each and every one of us, the theme of expanding past your comfort is an overall theme.
What are the things you have been clinging to that have reached their expiration date?
What habits, beliefs, and relationships are keeping you small?
What areas of your life are ready to expand?
This period of time will be a chance to elevate and move past all that is stagnant.
If you fight it, there can be problems.
If you surrender to it, miracles can occur.
Remember, Mercury isn’t out to get you.
Think of it as an amplifier.
Whatever is NOT working in your life will be amplified.
So you can know exactly what you need to stop doing
You mostly know what those things are, so don’t be surprised when those things start going faulty.
We are meant to evolve and grow, and this month is saying: DO IT.
Expect things to get uncomfy so you can be stirred out of complacency
This life is happening FOR YOU.
So let it happen ;)
Tools to help you Survive Retrograde
We want you to thrive during this time, so we have created a list of things you will need to do so beautifully and come out shining.
What you will need is:
Patience
Humour
Surrender
Time Management
Extra phone cords
Some advice:
As usual, technology might get a little glitchy, so watch out for that.
Don’t make any huge decisions unless it is something you have already been thinking about doing for months and have been procrastinating because your comfort zone was just too cozy to leave. Again, time to leave the comfort zone!
If you get a text from an ex, do not respond. I repeat, do not respond. They are your ex for a reason.
If you are ruled by Mercury (hi Gemini and Virgo) then this time will affect you the most. Don’t take it personally. Ride the waves and use that Mercurial energy of quickness to move past the things you can’t control but think twice before you say something.
Taurus will feel it deeply as well. If there are things or people you have been avoiding, expect them to show themselves strongly. You are being guided to face it with honesty and grace. You got this.
Stay rooted in a practice that connects you to your body and heart. Have a dance practice, a journaling practice, or meditate daily to help you through this time.
Again, it’s all happening for you, so enjoy what life has in store, and expand beyond the comforts you have created.
Happy Retrograde!
We talked about what it would take to shed, just for a moment, the preconception of what her feet should look and feel like, and to instead be with them as they were: “ugy”, dry, peeling. At first, they didn’t feel great to touch, but when she stayed and explored, receiving the sensation and pleasure, she realized how much her feet loved being touched.
Whether it’s learning to love our body or building a new healthy habit, it’s how we show up in moments of resistance that ultimately determines the course of our life.
I’ve been experiencing resistance to showing up for my yoni egg practice, so last month, I decided to take my yoni back to the gym for 30 consecutive days. My intentions were to awaken more sensation, move sexual energy, and stay connected to my yoni, her pleasure potential and powers, more often throughout the day.
On day 2 of my morning practice, my yoni already felt more alive, talking to me in her language of warm, pleasurable tingles as I was working, talking, cooking, eating. One-week in, the benefits persisted, and so did my resistance. My intentions were being realized: increased sensation during sex, more connection to my energy and sexuality. How could a practice that brings such potent, pleasurable benefits come with this much struggle? I was able to muscle through for 2-weeks, which felt good and really hard. I knew I had to find another way.
Embedded in my resistance was the lesson I needed: I realized that the reason so many new habits don’t stick is that we’re often leaning solely on masculine energy (structure and rules) without enlisting the feminine’s support.
In order for this ritual to become habitual, and more importantly to support the self-loving, erotically connected identity I wanted to embody, I needed to lean into the opposite of resistance: receptivity.
When I let go and allowed myself to be receptive within the context of yoni-exploration, I found myself showing up more eagerly, welcoming what I found I needed, reaching for my egg, wand, or just exploring myself.
Just last night I spent an hour touching and snuggling with myself. I lit some candles and listened to music as I played with different kinds of touch from feather light to grabbing and holding, loving my hands, my thighs, my feet, my toes, my breasts, my face, my lips, my neck. I slipped my egg inside and explored my yoni with less force and more curiosity. I let my mind and heart wander to wherever they needed to go and loved every second of it.
When we are met with resistance, whether it’s around loving a body part or creating a new ritual, we have a few options: We can let the resistance win and give up, we can muscle through it in pure masculine energy fashion (which never lasts long), or we can explore ways to soften in the face of it.
We can dance instead of run, or run if that’s what we feel we need.
By Allie Andrews, Somatica® trained Sex & Relationship Coach, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Meditation & Breathwork Teacher
Instagram: @iamallieandrews
Sometimes life happens, and you’re just not in the mood.
Or maybe your sexual energy is not as strong as you want it to be and you want that to change.
You want to feel more connected to your sexuality.
You want to feel more vitality.
You want to feel more orgasmic.
There are many factors that can contribute to lower libido but don’t worry, there are always ways to increase it.
Here are 5 things you can do to boost your sexual energy:
Get enough Sleep
The quality of sleep you have affects every aspect of your life. It is an important foundation for healthy living. If you are not getting proper sleep, this will negatively affect your libido as well. So make sure you are prioritizing sleep. Go to sleep earlier and avoid electronics 2 hours before bed. When you get enough sleep, your body will feel more inclined to engage in sexual pleasures.
Eat and Drink Well
When you eat well you feel well. When you feel well your sexual energy will naturally increase. Your body relies on the food you give it for its energy so make sure you are consuming whole foods with enough fat, protein, and carbs. Make sure to include enough water in your day to day, this will rapidly help your libido, especially if you are dehydrated.
Try Herbal Remedies
The concept of aphrodisiacs exists for a reason: because they work. They are certain foods and herbs that have been shown to boost your sexual energy so try adding some herbs into your lifestyle to boost your libido. Maca, Ginkgo biloba, Fenugreek, and even Cacao are great ones to try. Remember: consult your doctor before implanting any new remedies into your system.
Incorporate Self Pleasure into your Life
Sometimes boosting your libido means more self pleasure. Because when you’re not engaging with your sexual energy it wanes. Buy a crystal toy, indulge in exploring your sexuality, and make it a common thing. This will help you connect more deeply to your pleasure, and in turn train your body to crave more of it.
Practice Body Neutrality
Sometimes a negative body image will affect your desire to explore your sexuality. You spend time nitpicking your body that you cannot enjoy the process of sex and pleasure. When you begin to practice body neutrality, you begin to heal your relationship to your body. Instead of seeing it as something that is only for visual pleasure, you start to see it as a part of you to enjoy this planet. Your body is not meant to look pretty, it is meant to experience life. When you practice body neutrality, your libido will increase because you are no longer obsessing over how you look during sexual acts.
Woven into each of us are the present moment facts and archives that inform our personal limits – energy, instincts, intuitions, experiences, traumas, emotions. Not all ours. Not all rational.
Our boundaries are how we communicate and enforce those unique limits to the world.
I sometimes bypass these somatic signals with my rational mind. Doing and agreeing to what “makes sense”, or what I think is most accommodating for others, rather than what feels right in me.
Bypassing our limits to be pleasing is self-abandonment. When we were little, it meant survival and belonging, but as adults it is poison to self-connection and self-expression.
How do we stop adapting our capacity to what the world tells us it should be and instead honor what it actually is?
We start by attuning to ourselves. We let our body and nervous system inform our boundaries, in real time, by creating an embodied map of how we tend to feel and react when our limits are being pushed.
You can start to develop your boundary map right now. Take a few deep breaths into your yoni and read the following scenario, checking in with how it makes you feel:
Things are heating up with your new lover. After a minute of kissing they throw you on the bed and go straight for your yoni. They start touching your clit, and then quickly put their fingers inside of you.
While this is a more jolting example (and unfortunately how some men approach sex), you can do this embodied boundaries test with any scenario, from a colleague asking you to attend a last minute meeting during your lunch break to a stranger on the street asking for your number. How do you feel in the instant it is happening? Is your body saying yes or no? What is your mind saying? What do you do?
Do you feel hot, numb, anxious, angry, frustrated? Do you go blank and dissociate? Do you seek an escape? Do you feel an embodied no but go with the flow, justifying in your mind why you should, or it’s not a big deal? Boundary pushing triggers a stress response, however subtle, which means we tend to fight, flight, freeze or fawn (become overly cooperative).
Sexually, boundary crossing might look like feeling a surge of emotion during power play, signaling you to stop and move right to aftercare. Or freezing up at the moment of penetration if you are someone who needs to provide ongoing consent – i.e., you feel better if your lover checks in with you before proceeding to each next step. And if you tend to be the one escalating sex, it’s important to discuss whether your lover wants you to establish ongoing consent or to let you take the lead, in which case they should give you verbal affirmation that they will speak up if something doesn't feel good for them.
Determined by who you are and your life experiences, your embodied boundaries are unique to you and may change depending on a number of factors from how hungry you are to whether you feel emotionally connected to someone. They are not always rational or socially acceptable, but that does not mean you should ignore them. Your boundaries are a part of your story. Sharing them, when you feel ready, means sharing yourself, and the world needs more of you.
For more on boundaries and boundary mapping, click here.
By Allie Andrews, Wellness, Sex & Relationship Coach
]]>Sexual Energy.
Sensuality.
Emotions.
These are all aspect of our life that the sacral chakra governs.
Located in our womb center, the sacral chakra houses a warm, inviting energy that is a crucial part of living. The second chakra in our main chakra system, we learn the patterns that will establish this chakra at a young age. How we associate with play, our bodies, and creation contribute to how this chakra is programmed.
When it is in balance, we feel an overflow of creativity, body love, relationship harmony and sensual vitality that keeps us anchored into the pleasures of life.
When it is unbalanced, we feel creatively blocked, disconnected to our sensuality, and unable to feel the joy of living in a body.
Other symptoms of unbalance include:
Because of the stage this chakra is programmed, if there is unbalance it has been years in the making.
If you feel that your sacral chakra is unbalanced there are many things you can begin to incorporate into your daily life that will help to balance this energy center.
Here are 3 things you can do to begin:
Connect with Water
Water is the element of the sacral chakra. Representing the flow of life, when you connect to water, you are connecting to the energy of the sacral. Take baths, go swimming, spend time by a body of water. Notice how the water behaves, how it goes with the current, how it cleans and purifies. Imagine water clearing out your womb, leaving it fresh and vibrant.
Do Something Creative
Spend time being creative. Take a painting class or buy supplies to have a painting night at home. Learn how to write a short story or buy a journal to write everyday. Take a pottery class or buy some clay and see what you can make. Do something that interests you and uses creative energy to do.
Move your Hips
So much emotion and energy can reside in our hips which contributes to a sacral imbalance. When you move your hips you are releasing that energy. Twerk, shake your hips, or do yoga poses that focus on your hips like frog pose. Anything that gets you moving them. Put on a song and move move move.
Having a balanced sacral chakra takes times and commitment. Because we live in a culture that does not support a healthy sacral, it will take a lot of unlearning and relearning on how to care for this energy center. Be patient with yourself as you go through this journey.
You deserve to feel a joyful pleasure for life and balancing this center will help you feel that way.
Written Tania Maldonado
]]>I sometimes forget this. I meditate and set intentions and make vision boards and plan, but without anointing my desires with sexual energy they can fall flat, or more accurately, I can fall flat. No longer turned on by life.
If you can relate to feeling a bit lackadaisical from time to time, embodying your sexual energy is a wonderful way to reignite your lust for life.
Most people move through life compartmentalizing their sexual self from the rest of their reality. Sexuality -- and all of the powerful, life-giving, magnetic energy that comes with it -- is often reserved for the bedroom.
Something I’ve been working on lately is decompartmentalizing my sexuality. Bringing it with me to meetings and cafes and dance classes. Weaving my sexual energy into my intentions and goals as fuel.
Asking my yoni for guidance and support to conceive and birth what I feel called to manifest.
When we are cultivating, moving and embodying our erotic energy on a regular basis -- whether through an erotic breathing practice, jade egg practice, self-pleasure, or sex with partners (better yet all of the above!) -- we are vibrating at a higher frequency.
Think about it, orgasm is one of the most powerful ways to clear and open energy channels in the body. Not only does orgasm make us feel closer to our partner(s) and ourself, just do a quick google search and you’ll find countless other benefits from radiant skin to a healthier immune system.
Orgasms -- especially G Spot and cervical -- revitalize the body, open the heart and clear the mind like nothing else! They create more physical and energetic flow in your body which manifests as you being able to move with whatever life brings your way.
This energetic shift can show up as more confidence, less resistance and generally high vibe living, making you magnetic!
Maybe you’ve noticed that when you’re having lots of satisfying sex, or well-fucked as Kim Anami would say, whether with partners or your crystal wands, you walk around with a freedom about you, and people are more drawn to you.
Now, take a deep, embodied breath all the way into your pelvic floor. Gently squeeze your yoni muscles with the inhale and relax with the exhale, can you start to feel your yoni wake up? Repeat 10 times, speed it up, slow it down, see what feels good.
As within so without. Awaken your yoni. Move your sexual energy to feel present and embodied and goddess-like. Exude this energy to the world. Magnetize your desires.
By Allie Andrews, Self-Care, Sex & Relationship Coach
Instagram: @iamallieandrews
Most of us do it.
We rarely talk about it.
But here at Gemstone Yoni, we are all about it.
Queen Advocates of self pleasure, our desire is that every woman walks this planet turned on to their pleasure and light.
Self pleasure is a key aspect in this desire.
When you put the power of your pleasure in your own hand, there is no-one that can control it.
But how exactly does self pleasure help you rise to your greatest?
Here are some amazing benefits to your health and empowerment that self pleasure brings.
Self pleasure will lift your mood. Always. You will feel lighter and less stressed because at the point of orgasm, your body release dopamine, which brings a sense of euphoria and relief. It doesn’t matter how your day is going, when you self pleasure, it will always feel better.
When your body is more relaxed, you are able to sleep better. Self pleasure helps with that. Many factors can contribute to a problem with enough rest. A lot of it can do with anxiety and stress. Self pleasure eases those symptoms.
When you know what you want you are able to tell you lover(s) what you want. Whether you are in a long term commitment or currently dating, self pleasure gives you the power to know what you enjoy (and what you don’t) so you are able to speak it. No more faking orgasms, let your needs be known, and make sure they are fulfilled.
When you feel good, you walk with confidence. When you are turned on to your pleasure, there is a magnetic force to you. People want to bask in it. This is an energy that cannot be faked. When you are in it, it is undeniable. The more you connect to your sexuality through self pleasure, the more you shine with this energy.
Sexual energy is creative energy. When you are disconnected from your sexuality, you might have a hard time feeling creative. Self pleasure helps you bridge that gap and boosts your creativity.
When you self pleasure, you do so much for your health and wellbeing. When you self pleasure, you connect to your highest vibrancy.
Whether you use a crystal wand or your fingers, the act of pleasuring yourself holds so much power.
There is no denying how beautiful it is.
So make self pleasure a ritual.
Something you do often.
Take your time in exploring yourself.
Touch and tease yourself.
Breathe deep.
Have fun.
And enjoy the benefits.
Written By: Tania Maldonado
Photo Credit: instagram.com/handsomegirldesigns
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Be Transparent With Yourself
Sex can seem like a complex experience; however, we are all entitled to great sex. The first steps to reconnecting with yourself sexually is to be transparent with yourself. Focusing on your sexual energy requires you to free your mind of the self-judgement that is standing in between you and great sex. Focusing on healing your sexual energy can also help overcome any body tension or feelings of distress caused by sexual repression. Handle your sex-related issues by asking yourself some uncomfortable questions:
Do you feel comfortable with your own body?
Do you feel connected and present when having sex?
Are you enjoying yourself?
The whole process might seem silly; however, it can give you a better insight into your general relationship with sex, all while creating a safe space with yourself. More often than not, we jump into the sheets with unsolved baggage that we are too anxious to address. However, addressing your anxieties and being open with yourself can help you move forward. Once you are open and honest about the challenges or insecurities you face, then you can move on to finding solutions to your problems.
Have A Solo Date
Now that you have connected with yourself verbally, it’s time to connect with yourself physically. If your goal is to have better sex with yourself, then you have to take the time to get to know yourself physically. Spending time touching yourself or using crystal sex toys to help build your sexual energy through self-love will awaken a higher level of pleasure.
Sex, whether with a partner or by self, should never feel rushed. If you enjoy foreplay, then experiment with solo foreplay by watching porn or using your imagination to help. Focus on your breath work or your movement. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated, and take advantage of this time. Having alone time with yourself will remove some of the pressure or nerves that come with experimenting with your partner.
Don’t Let Insecurities Overcome You
Insecurities are a natural part of life, but should not be present in the bedroom. Knowing your body should also involve understanding your body. If you have struggled to connect with yourself because of sexual dysfunctions like vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction, then you are not alone. Sexual dysfunction can be caused by a multitude of reasons such as health issues or anxiety.
Non-medical treatments like changes to your unhealthy lifestyle habits, or seeking counseling, can be a positive first step in treating sexual dysfunction. Exercising your pelvic floor with a yoni egg can have positive benefits on your sexual health as a weak pelvic floor can lead to painful sex, vaginal dryness, or more frequent urinary tract infections. Think Kegel exercises are just for women? Think again. Men who have trouble with an overactive bladder and erectile dysfunction, or premature ejaculation can also greatly benefit from exercising their pelvic floor muscles!
However, it’s crucial you seek professional help if your sexual dysfunctions worsen or remain the same. There are a slew of treatment options available, from estrogen therapy to ED meds online that can help. Talking to your primary care doctor can help you understand what treatment option works best for you. Don't shy away from taking charge of your sexual dysfunction because everyone deserves better sex.
Like most things in life, sex is a journey, and although it’s natural to fixate on the destination, it’s vital to enjoy yourself while on the journey to sexual self-love.
Photo Credit: @sijia.janina
]]>The pleasure you can experience is only limited to what you allow.
.
This over culture hates vibrant, erotic, sensual, fulfilled women.
So we are taught to deny our pleasure.
But here in this corner of the internet, we want you alive with pleasure!
We want you thriving in pleasure.
So how can you do that?
.
Now, pleasure is not only sexual.
Pleasure is the foundation for a juicy life.
The way you breathe can be pleasurable.
The way you eat can be pleasurable.
They way you move can be pleasurable.
Still, most women are turned off to the possibilities.
Shame has been ingrained into our systems at a young age. This stops us from sinking into the feeling of pleasure.
We deny it.
We run away from it.
As you awaken to your potential as a woman, you will begin to awaken to how much pleasure you can experience.
.
We each have a pleasure ceiling.
What is that?
It’s an invisible barrier within us that tells us this is enough goodness.
When we reach this point within us, we shoo away the possibility for more.
Because we cannot handle anymore.
You can have a short ceiling.
You can have a tall ceiling.
Everyone is different and unique in what they can handle.
Knowing the size of your capacity is the key to expanding it.
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A way to create this expansion is through consciously allowing more in the moment.
Let’s say you are having a beautiful time with friends and you feel a resistance within yourself. You want to be alone now. You feel anxious. You feel like this is too good to be true. You don’t want to feel any happier because you are afraid that it’s too much.
Instead of shutting down, you breathe into this space. You locate where you feel the resistance and you breathe deep. You can say to yourself, “I deserve to feel this good” “I am worthy of pleasure” but you move through it.
The more you do this in the moment, the more you let your body know that it is safe to experience more joy and pleasure.
It is a matter of retraining your body.
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A Self- Pleasure Practice for More
Another way you can create a greater capacity for pleasure is to practice.
Play some music.
Bring in some oil.
And gently massage and pleasure your body.
Go slowly, with intention to feel all the pleasure you can feel and more.
Use a Yoni Wand for maximum experience ;)
You do not want to rush this practice so give yourself an hour at least.
You can also include a partner if they’re up for it.
Let yourself feel all that you can feel.
.
You were made for pleasure.
You were made for goodness.
What you allow to experience is up to you.
Soon enough, you will expand beyond to what you currently allow. This is your birthright.
So, enjoy the process of more ;)
Written By:Tania Maldanado
Photo Credit: Pierre Schmidt @dromsjel
We have much to remember about our complexity, and feminine archetypes can help.
The Maiden reminds us to bring forth our dreamy inner child who meets each day with excitement and wonder.
The Lover reminds us to step into our sensuality and bring our eortic energy with us wherever we go.
The Mother reminds us to honor our rhythms and self-nurture so that we can sustainably give the gift of our warmth to others.
The Huntress reminds us to fiercely pursue our personal goals with dedication and intentionality.
The Creatrix reminds us that we are inherently creative, channels for the divine, and that space to be is required for creative expression to flow.
The Queen reminds us to step confidently into our power.
The Wild Woman reminds us to listen boldly to the subtle whispers of our soul (intuition) and surrender to the cycles of life and death - whether it’s a rebirth of a part of ourselves or some aspect of our outer life slipping away.
The Crone reminds us that there is inner depth and wisdom beyond what meets the eye.
Archetypes are combinations of qualities, motivations, patterns, thoughts and behaviors. Or as Clarissa Pinkola Estes describes them: Archetypes are layers of the psyche, like little dolls that live inside of us.
We can call on the archetypal energies to see where we may be living out of balance or out of alignment. In doing so, these little dolls inside can ground us in who we already are, show us what qualities to embody to blossom into full self-expression, and illuminate when we’re living in the shadow, feeling stuck in a greyed out version of ourselves.
For example, overidentification with the Mother, or caregiver archetype can cause a person to lose themselves in selflessness and people pleasing. They put their own needs and desires for love, connection, joy and pleasure on the back burner. They lose any sense of who they are and what their boundaries are, and may even grow resentful or burn out.
When this happens, they can invite in the Lover and the Wild Woman to bring color and adventure back into their life, and remember the part of themselves that is unapologetically self-honoring, self-loving and self-serving.
So, what energies are you called to embody today, this week, this month, next year? The feminine archetypes are here to guide you. Here are a couple of articles to help you dig deeper:
https://kaitlynsearsyoga.com/blogs/news/7-feminine-archetypes
https://sheroserevolution.com/shanijay/divine-feminine-archetypes/
By Allie Andrews, Self-Care & Intimacy Coach
Instagram: @iamallieandrews
Photo Credit: https://www.instagram.com/soul.tranquility/
]]>The over-culture wants us to hate our bodies.
Time and time again we are shown this.
We are conditioned from a young age that there is something wrong with the body we have.
We are conditioned to believe we are never enough.
But as many of us awaken to this truth, we are realizing how detrimental this belief has been and want to change.
We want to love our bodies.
.
I was 8 years old when I was first told there was something wrong with my body.
From then on, I have heard message after message trying to solidify that message, and for a long time it worked.
I avoided mirrors, I developed body dysmorphia, a binge eating pattern, starved myself to try and loose weight, and hated who I was because of my body.
It was a constant battleground.
One where no-one was winning.
But one day I realized I had to change this.
I was tired of hating myself.
I was tired of fighting myself.
.
I began to look into body love and discovered a way of thinking that could repair the harm I had done.
I could finally began to heal.
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The concept of body love is a process.
You will not wake up one day and absolutely love your body.
It will take time.
It will take tears.
It will take looking at all the ways you harm yourself.
It will take courage.
But you will get there.
Step by step.
.
So, how do you get there?
How can you begin to love your body?
Through Body Acceptance.
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This is a process where you begin to form an intimate relationship to your body through accepting how it looks like, how it functions, how it operates, and how it lives in this world.
The body that you have now deserves to be appreciated for what it is.
Not when you have lost the 20 pounds, or get the surgery, or get the haircut, or get the clothes.
Just as you are right now, can you accept it?
Can you be okay with who you are? Body and all?
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The answer can be no.
That’s okay.
If you are open to accepting yourself, you are that much closer to loving yourself.
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There are many ways that we try to avoid ourselves.
The same goes for our bodies.
For body love to be realized, you must be willing to look at yourself. No more avoidance.
To accomplish this, spend 5 minutes in front of a mirror naked.
Try to make this a daily practice.
Brush your teeth naked.
Dance in front of the mirror naked.
See how your body moves.
See how your body really looks.
If negative thoughts show up, that’s common.
Take deep breaths and say,
“I am open to accepting my body as it is”
“I accept what I see in the mirror”
“I accept myself”
The more you commit to this practice, the more you will move towards acceptance, and then body love.
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You deserve to feel good about who you are, body and soul.
You deserve to look at yourself, no matter what your body looks like, and find the divinity in it.
You deserve to move through this world with your head held high.
You deserve to love your body. To love yourself.
I don’t know about you, but for me sometimes intuition feels elusive and ephemeral. I want to live in alignment with my inner compass, but when push comes to shove it sometimes feels impossible to do the intuitive thing.
When, if ever, do you struggle to follow your intuition? I tend to stray when the stakes are low or it requires that I disappoint someone. And when it comes to love, trusting my internal GPS to let go can feel like death is upon me. (I can’t tell you how many times I have steamrolled my intuition in relationships because my abandonment alarm was beeping and blinking red. So much so that I would cleverly convince myself that it was my intuition telling me to stay, even though it was my deepest fear.)
Intuitive whispers are easily overpowered by fear, a desire to be well-behaved, meet expectations, do the logical thing, etc. Just yesterday I strayed from my intuition because my rational mind convinced me to. It wasn’t a big deal; an opportunity to attend an event came up and intuitively I knew that going would not nourish me in the way I needed, but I convinced myself to go because: who knew who I would meet, what I would learn, or where it would take me. I’m new in this city, I should really put myself out there.
Have you ever rationalized away your intuition like this?
Culture encourages neglect of intuition for more visible and rational guideposts, which adds fuel to the feeling that we are less than we really are. The result of this kind of self-abandonment can range anywhere from clunky to painful to dangerous. But whatever the breadth of the impact, because intuition is an essential part of our inner self, when we diverge from it we feel fragmented, unintegrated, out of alignment. We feel like something is missing in us, because it is.
In Women Who Run With the Wolves, author Clarissa Pinkola Estes describes intuition as being “many-eyed”. She writes: “When we assert intuition we are like the starry night: we gaze at the world through a thousand eyes.”
Intuition is both wise and instinctual. It’s a clear thought, a whole body knowing, a punch in the stomach, a subtle nudge, a cat playfully clawing for our attention. It’s a felt sense, a sentence, an impulse filtered through the highly developed human nervous system and plugged into Universal Intelligence. In its purest form, intuition can be trusted to guide us to our next best move every single time.
So how do we polish the window of our intuition so we can see clearly where it’s pointing us?
Pinkloa reminds us that intuition is fed by our listening and refined each time we choose to follow its lead. So to hone intuition we must exercise our receptivity -- receptivity in the sense of receiving stimuli and responding, rather than holding hard and fast to the plan. And we must pay close attention at each and every juncture -- from choosing what we’ll eat to where we’ll live -- how and where our intuition is communicating with us: Does she speak to you through your heart, gut, pussy, womb, mind, an ever changing combination? Does she come through when you summon her? (My guess is yes).
Attuning to and employing intuition can help us navigate life with more confidence and continuously re-root into our feminine essence.
So next time you feel stuck or small or fearful of what the future holds, remember that beneath the thought, beyond the pain, your intuition steadily splashes. And when you’re ready, reuniting will revive your sense of wholeness and direction.
By Allie Andrews, Health & Intimacy Coach, Founder OmBody Health
OmBodyHealth.com // Instagram: @iamallieandrews
Photo Credit - instagram.com/@lucia.dami
]]>Because releasing a soul connection is hard. It is a death. An ending.
]]>The people you surround yourself with will either drain you or uplift you.
They will support you or discourage you.
They will affect how your life flows.
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When you entertain connections that do not bring much to your life, or when a connection has reached its expiry date, you will begin to feel the call to let them go.
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But, how do you really know when it’s time to let someone go from your life?
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The connection feels strained.
There is no growth between the two of you.
It can even feel toxic.
There is little understanding and communication.
It feels stagnant, limited, and there is little nourishment.
Maybe you are the only one putting in the work.
Maybe you are the only one that gives.
You don’t feel like this connection is really doing much for you.
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When these signs begin to show themselves, it is time.
The thing with ending a connection though, is that it can be messy.
There are so many factors to consider.
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One factor is how you feel about it.
Guilt might appear.
You feel comfortable with them. They know you. Even though it doesn’t help you thrive, at least they are there for you.
So you may even feel afraid to let them go.
Or maybe you are ready.
Whatever you feel, your emotions are normal.
Give yourself space to feel what you need to.
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Another thing to consider is how to do it.
Because releasing a soul connection is hard.
It is a death.
An ending.
You don’t know how it will be without them.
You don’t know how they will react.
There are so many unknowns.
When the time comes, end it the way you think is best.
Maybe that includes a conversation with them about moving on.
Maybe for your safety it’s a phone call. Or an e-mail.
Your wellbeing comes first.
Whatever avenue you choose, you are dong this for both of you.
Because letting go of a relationship alway benefits both parties. Even if it doesn’t feel the way.
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When the relationship has ended, there is a mourning period.
You will probably miss them.
You might cry.
You might still feel the bond.
You might be angry at yourself.
Or angry at them.
Regrets of how things could have been different might play in your head.
Remember: everything you experience is valid.
This person meant so much to you.
Let yourself grieve.
Be whatever you need to be to move on.
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Because as you move forward, connections that will help you grow will appear.
Relationships that benefit you will show up
Life is for you.
Friendships are for you.
Romantic connections are for you.
Let yourself be supported with people who are good for you.
Let yourself be loved by people who know how precious you are.
Let go and let something even better show up.
Written By Tania Maldonado
Because it was not given the space to be felt, it is not given the space to be released.
The emotions we feel needs to go somewhere and so it stays in our muscles and tissues when we suppress them.
This can build up and create chronic illness and disease.
A specific spot that stores unprocessed emotions as women are in our breasts.
When sadness, fear, jealousy, anger, helplessness, and guilt cannot be honored, it stays in the tissues close to the heart.
We become closed to life, unable to receive, and our health is compromised.
This is a common result in modern society.
We are told not to feel.
We are told it is weak to do so.
We are told we are better off without so many emotions
So, what can we do to honor our emotions and the health of our breasts at the same time?
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Breast massage is exactly what the name suggests: a massage for your breasts.
This is a practice that has been performed for thousands of years.
Popular in many different cultures around the world, women would perform this act daily.
During the massage, we are engaging the tissues in our breasts which will help release any stored emotions that we are keeping inside the body.
Along with the benefit of emotional release, breast massage can also:
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To perform this practice yourself, grab your favorite oil (olive, coconut, etc) put on some relaxing music, and make sure you have 5 minutes of uninterrupted time.
Take a few deep breaths while you warm the oil in between your palms. Make the intention that you are connecting to your breast for healing, love, and peace.
When you are ready to begin, starting from the nipple and going outward, work your hands in a circular clockwise motion.
Start soft, especially if there is any soreness, and apply as much pressure as you are comfortable with as the massage continues.
As you move your way to the armpits and outer breasts, make sure to massage upward towards the shoulders to help with lymphatic draining.
While you massage your breasts, make sure you are taking deep and even breaths.
If emotions arise, let yourself feel them.
You may cry.
You may laugh.
You may feel numbness.
You may feel anger.
You may feel pleasure.
Whatever you feel, know that it’s okay to feel them. This massage is allowing any built-up emotions to be felt and then released.
Give yourself grace and enjoy the time of self-care and love.
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When we honor our emotions, we are healthier in all aspects of our lives.
Breast massage gives us the space to physically release the emotions which will create more space for love, vitality, and health.
Give your breasts some love and attention and your emotions will flow.
Written By: Tania Maldonado
As patriarchal values took hold (and herstory started to be dictated by him) menstruation, like pregnancy and childbirth, was viewed as a handicap because of women’s reduced capacity to “work” -- as valued and defined by the patriarchy.
But as women we know that there is a profound ability to do spiritual Work -- i.e., mental, emotional, energetic work, the work we do in the invisible world; the world we cannot see, but we can feel -- during this slow, sensitive and embodied time.
As Rumi wrote: “Work in the invisible world at least as hard as you do in the visible.”
Each bleed* is an opportunity to prioritize our spiritual Work. Not just a cleanse for our womb, but a mental, emotional and energetic cleanse too. A gestation period for our brainchildren.
Here are a few self-care ideas for before and during your bleed* so that you can show up more in flow for the rest of your cycle:
*If you don’t bleed, whether you have gone through menopause, weren’t born with ovaries, or have had them removed, your physical and spiritual self still needs this period of release. Everything with water -- every body -- cycles with the moon. Think about biodynamic farming, and how sea urchins swell under the light of the full moon. Use the lunar phases below and your own perception to guide awareness of your inner seasons.
To start, I suggest charting the seasons of your cycle on your calendar. You can use the following as a guideline, noting that this will vary depending on the length of your cycle. For example, my cycle varies from 27 to 30+ days, and I generally feel the snow start to fall 2 days before my period and melt away on day 3 or 4.
Seasons of the menstrual cycle (based on a 28 day cycle):
*Seasons in conjunction with the lunar phases:
Once you have a visual of your inner seasons, let them inform what you say “yes”, “no” or “not right now” to. Schedule the bulk of your extrovertive and nonessential activities during your spring and summer.
Your inner fall is a time to shed external expectations and stop overextending yourself. To set boundaries, not only with others, but with yourself. Perhaps you say no to indulging in heavy, sweet foods and alcohol, and reduce screen time so you get plenty of quality sleep. This season is all about creating space in your schedule and preparing your body for the coming winter.
Your inner winter is a time to prioritize self-nourishment. Imagine if you cleared your schedule on the last and/or first day of your cycle: What would you do, or not do? (Write it down!) Or if you simply committed to moving slow like lava on these days.
Imagine if you gave yourself permission to journey beyond the tunnel of a goal-oriented, routine-based existence, and practiced moment by moment, returning to your body, returning to yourself. What does this mean to you? How would this feel?
Aligning with our body’s natural cycle is an important part of valuing ourselves as feminine-energy beings. Honoring our rhythms means recognizing that we won’t feel the same everyday. That we can’t be as productive (by patriarchal standards) today as we were yesterday, or last week. This is a much more honest way to live and relate to ourselves.
Nature has gifted us a visual and visceral connection to the creative force. A stark reminder of the life-giving power we hold that does not require our effort to wield.
New beginnings do not start when a thing comes into the light. New beginnings happen in the shadow, in the quiet, in the still. Like a seed germinating in darkness, a woman retreats once a moonth so she can emerge more fully herself.
By Allie Andrews, Self-Care Coach
OmBodyHealth.com
IG: @iamallieandrews
]]>The soul knows what it wants. It’s our human mind that gets in the way. The soul yearns. The mind rationalizes.
]]>I booked a one way airplane ticket today.
Why?
Because there was the desire to.
Because my soul knew what the next steps were and I followed that call.
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It is vital for the human spirit, especially the wild human spirit, to do what lights us up.
To do the things that are calling to us.
To do the things we know we must do.
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We live in a culture that denies the soul.
It prioritizes progress, money, productivity, and doing what we can to enhance the economy.
All while doing things for the ego’s sake.
They tell us to follow our desires, but only if it fits their agenda.
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What happens when we deny our soul to follow what we think we should be doing?
We waste away.
We shrink.
We decay.
We burn out.
We stop living.
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Your current life may feel safe.
It may be comfy.
Surrounded by the softest pillows and blankets.
But if it denies what you truly want, it is a prison.
Your 9-5 provides stability, but is worth the numbness?
What would you do if you knew you would be supported?
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I went to University because I thought it was the route that would lead to stability.
It was what my parents wanted.
It was what society told me I needed to do to have a good life.
But it almost killed me.
Depressed and anxious, I knew that this couldn’t be the life I had to live.
I needed to do something else, or I would wither away.
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It was with that decision that I began to follow my curiosities
What do I want to do?
What should I try?
What do I want my life to look like 5 years from now?
These were questions I asked myself.
I got honest with myself and followed the path that felt more true.
This lead me to writing, teaching, travelling, my partner, my son, and the life I have now.
Fulfilled. Inspired. Passionate. Loved. Mine.
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The soul knows what it wants.
It’s our human mind that gets in the way.
The soul yearns.
The mind rationalizes.
The soul whispers.
The mind screams.
Which one will you listen to?
Which one will you follow?
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People will try to convince you not to do what you really want.
They will try to keep you in your prison because they are in theirs.
They will call it stupid.
They will call it reckless.
They will call it delusional.
But great things do not happen by scared hearts.
Only the brave live.
Only the ones willing to take the plunge will see how deep the waters go.
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So how can you begin to follow your desires?
Start asking yourself the questions that will lead you there:
What do I really want?
What am I curious to try?
What have I always wanted to do?
What are 3 things I want to do before I die?
Read books to inspire you:
You are a Badass by Jen Sincero
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Rise Sister Rise by Rebecca Campbell
Say the affirmations:
I am divinely guided.
I am following my soul’s desires.
I am protected in my desires.
I am surrounded by support in my calling.
The whole Universe is cheering you on.
You just have to brave enough.
You got this.
Written by: Tania Maldonado
How do we open ourselves fully to receiving life, and our lover(s)?
How do we untangle the knots in our nervous system formed over lifetimes of trying to stay safe and gain approval so we can receive what the creative spirit wants to express through us?
How do we embody feminine receptivity; the energy that makes us magnetic, and can feel at once so native and so foreign?
I don’t know about you, but I’m no expert at settling into my deep feminine within the busyness of daily life (and I don’t even have kids yet!). For me this dance with yin and yang, moon and sun, feminine and masculine energy requires ongoing awareness and intention.
Patriarchal conditioning tells us that we should be busy, so when we’re not we feel lazy (beneath which probably splashes some shame). Scarce are the days spent immersed in nature, receiving the wild around and inside of us: following the stream to see where it leads, making fairy houses from sticks, bark, and leaves, eating when our body signals us, retreating to our favorite spot amongst the trees when we sense a desire to be alone.
Expectations (“shoulds”) are not bad, they’re complicated. The major problem I see with expectations is that they are inevitably entangled with perfectionism and people pleasing, which means they often don’t come from the inherently worthy, self-honoring, intuitive side that we all have.
Plus, running around meeting expectations takes up valuable time and headspace that we could spend sensing and responding to the signals and stimuli that are guiding us toward greater wellbeing, abundance and impact in our own unique way.
Imagine you wrap up a day’s work: The laundry isn’t folded, the dishes aren’t washed, the house is a bit desheveled, you have a few unanswered (non urgent) emails, phone calls and texts, you haven’t gone to the gym, your kids are clawing for your attention, AND, on top of all of that, you’re fucking exhausted yet you can’t seem to stop.
This is the result of a yang-focused day; all of your energy spilling out (expanding) without enough focus on high-quality self-replenishment (yin, contracting, pulling in). You know, the kind of replenishment that resensitizes you to the pleasure of a lover’s fingertips grazing your naked belly, inching toward your inner thighs...
This is where the simple yet powerful practice of transition time comes in.
Transition time is sacred space carved into your schedule -- when switching from one task, meeting or location to another, before embarking on a creative pursuit, and especially when coming home to yourself or your family after a productivity-focused day -- to settle into your feminine self, stop performing, and remember where your power lies.
During transition time, the focus is on the present not the outcome. The body not the to-do list. This is time to lean back. To shift your energy from doing to being. From forcing to allowing.
When you use transition rituals like those listed below to change gears, not only will the creative spirit be able to move through you with more ease, but you will be irresistible your masculine-energy partner (if you have or desire one) -- who really does want to provide for you, and is both soothed and inspired when you slow down and receive life.
Now, take 5-minutes to make a short list of your own transition rituals.
By Allie Andrews, Self-Care Coach & Founder of OmBody Health
IG: @iamallieandrews
Artwork IG: @leaandroicart
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In most energy practices, there are seven main chakras that are in the center of the body. They are:
Each chakra represents specific emotions, states of being, and color. You can work with these energy wheels to move stuck energy in any part of your body.
Key to Embodiment
One of the five foundations of embodiment is energy. We are all made of energy. It’s the unseen space that surrounds our physical body and moves inside our inner body.
One of the main aspects of energy is that energy follows attention. Your attention or imagination is a powerful tool to move your energy into space you can feel but not necessarily see. Imagining your energy moving is a powerful practice and gets you deeper into your body.
Ultimate Creative Energy
Your sexual energy is your ultimate creative energy. It’s what you feel when you’re in the state of flow, arousal, or bliss. This energy can be used to help clear blocks in your energy wheels, which keep you balanced and feeling healthy. Remember, sexual energy is always with you, it is not limited to when you’re engaging in the physical act of sex.
Two ways to move your sexual energy
Your sexual energy is a powerful energy, and when you work with it, it can create longer periods of pleasure, arousal, and creativity. This energy is not only activated with the act of sex but can be activated and transformed when creating. It’s a potent way to get into your body and connect with your authentic sensuality.
For more information on conscious sexuality, embodiment, and awakening, visit moniquegomez.com. When you’re there, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss freebies, insight, and overall love I don’t get to share anywhere else.
Stay curious, my friend.